Lack of Sleep, Excess of Absurdity

J: Will you be my valentine????

K: I dunno…maybe….Does it take any effort on my part?

J: None at all!

K: Hmm. Okay. I guess. If I must. Does that make you mine automatically? Is that how this works?

J: Yes. I am yours now. 

K: So now that we both have valentines…now what?  Do we go buy some necco hearts or something? We obviously can’t go on a date, get drunk off pink champagne and have sloppy, drunk sex in a heart shaped jacuzzi full of rose petals if we are this far away from eachother…what else could one do on Valentine’s day?

J: That, my dear, is a great question.  Honestly, I’m still stuck thinking about the sloppy sex in a heart-shaped jacuzzi….

Veronica: Pizza pizza pizza pizzzzzza

Kristin: All this pizza talk is making me a little bit saucy.

V: Is it time for cheesy jokes? 

K: So long as they don’t get too upper crust. 

V: We gotta think out of the box for this one. 

K: You always need to think outside the box if you really want a pizza the action.

V: That was terrible.  You just shoved that in there like a can of anchovies.

K: What, are you trying to be pie-ous all of a sudden?

V: Look, it’s hard coming up with olive these. 

K: How much dough will it cost me to make you end this game?

V: I can toss up a small, medium or large amount. 

K: ;+

V: What does that even mean?

K: Use your imagination.

V: Someone is sucking on a cross.

K: EXACTLY.

Veronica: Did you know elephants created the world?

Kristin: Did you know elephants were the first animals sent into orbit?

V: Did you know elephants invented gravity?

K: Did you know elephants wrote the bible?

V: Did you know that an elephant kicked Eve out of the garden after she ate the apple and created original sin?

K: Did you know an elephant kicked over the lantern that started the Great Chicago Fire?

V: Did you know elephant polo is when elephants ride horses to play polo?

K: Omg. The imagery! So great!

V: So cute!

K:  In order for that to work, they’d have to be baby elephants. Even cuter!

V: Omg omg omg please. 

K: Can we drop out yet?

R: Done

K: Awesome.

R: Seriously, I have decided to become an artist.

K: Fantastic, I’ve decided to become a writer. We’re so bohemian.

R: This is perfect. And we don’t need food or anything. Just creation. 

K: And cigarettes.

R: Of course. 

K: Beer might be nice, too. 

R: Can we also have carrots?