J: Will you be my valentine????
K: I dunno…maybe….Does it take any effort on my part?
J: None at all!
K: Hmm. Okay. I guess. If I must. Does that make you mine automatically? Is that how this works?
J: Yes. I am yours now.
K: So now that we both have valentines…now what? Do we go buy some necco hearts or something? We obviously can’t go on a date, get drunk off pink champagne and have sloppy, drunk sex in a heart shaped jacuzzi full of rose petals if we are this far away from eachother…what else could one do on Valentine’s day?
J: That, my dear, is a great question. Honestly, I’m still stuck thinking about the sloppy sex in a heart-shaped jacuzzi….
Veronica: Pizza pizza pizza pizzzzzza
Kristin: All this pizza talk is making me a little bit saucy.
V: Is it time for cheesy jokes?
K: So long as they don’t get too upper crust.
V: We gotta think out of the box for this one.
K: You always need to think outside the box if you really want a pizza the action.
V: That was terrible. You just shoved that in there like a can of anchovies.
K: What, are you trying to be pie-ous all of a sudden?
V: Look, it’s hard coming up with olive these.
K: How much dough will it cost me to make you end this game?
V: I can toss up a small, medium or large amount.
V: What does that even mean?
K: Use your imagination.
V: Someone is sucking on a cross.
Veronica: Did you know elephants created the world?
Kristin: Did you know elephants were the first animals sent into orbit?
V: Did you know elephants invented gravity?
K: Did you know elephants wrote the bible?
V: Did you know that an elephant kicked Eve out of the garden after she ate the apple and created original sin?
K: Did you know an elephant kicked over the lantern that started the Great Chicago Fire?
V: Did you know elephant polo is when elephants ride horses to play polo?
K: Omg. The imagery! So great!
V: So cute!
K: In order for that to work, they’d have to be baby elephants. Even cuter!
V: Omg omg omg please.
K: Can we drop out yet?
R: Seriously, I have decided to become an artist.
K: Fantastic, I’ve decided to become a writer. We’re so bohemian.
R: This is perfect. And we don’t need food or anything. Just creation.
K: And cigarettes.
R: Of course.
K: Beer might be nice, too.
R: Can we also have carrots?
I have discovered the Brazilian Donovan.